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23/09/2005 - Recording The Video With Bruce And Chris .

Once more in London, now without time for strolls. After some tiring meetings, I met Bruce. The chosen pub was next to the place where I was, that was at Chris’s house again. The marked hour was 18:00, I thought Bruce probably was tired and intended to go back early to his house, but was it different, he wanted to spend more time with us than he had before. Chris and I arrived around 18:12, Bruce arrived a few seconds later, and got the first round, he looked at me and said "A Coke right? You do not drinkalcoholic drinks, do you?". I was really surprised at him remembering this detail. He had just finished a North American tour, with many things to tell, but he did not seem even a little tired, I have to learn how to do that. We chatted for hours, much more time than the first time. We spoke about shows, CDs, friends in common and polítics. During all our conversation I was with a doubt hammering my head, "How will I ask him to make the video?” I thought he wouldn’t agree, so in the middle of my inner questions about what to do, he said, "youbrought a camera?” too late now, it was all or nothing. So I said "AHH yes,I would like to ask you a favor, but if you refuse, I will understand" then I explained that I wanted to make a teaser video for the show with him and Chris, He looked at me for a while and I froze, then he pulled his fisherman's hat in front of his face and said "Let’s do it", we made the video and it was incredible.

25/09/2005 - At The Live And Louder Giant Screen.

I am in Brazil, no time to rest. I went at the studio of a friend of mine and edited the video. On the following day I sent it by e-mail to Paulo. He called me in disbelief saying, "Oh My God, how did you convinced him to make that?". I could not answer, because I didn’t know how to answer. I thought at that moment that Bruce was giving me more credibility than I had expected. On the day that my video was on the giant screen in the Live and Louder festival, I didn’t go, I was nervous and fearful of how the audience would react to the video. Later, some friends of mine told me that it was incredible and that everybody loved the video. I rebuked myself for not having had the courage to go, and I learned not to have fear of possible rejection anymore.

03/10/2005 - Exhausting rehearsals.

A little more than one month for the show. The rehearsals were running in a really frantic way, at least they were according to my band. We were on the edge of making our first show in São Paulo, in the biggest venue in the city, with the greatest names of the Heavy Metal at our side, with a DVD in the game and I only rehearsed four days. Even with all top link’s team working on it, all details passed in my hands, no decision was taken without my agreement or without my knowledge. I passed so much time on the telephone and traveling between Rio and São Paulo that I didn’t have time to rehearse.

15/10/2005 - Running Behind Time.

I’m back from a rehearsal and I almost died to finish the show. Too much stress and not much health. I need to take care of myself, there’s no sense in working in such a way to fail at this stage. I gave a call to Flavio. He had commented weeks before he would like to run, to build up more stamina. When he first said that, I didn’t care, I believed that I would be able to face the problems related to the show and still to make a good performance, I was completely wrong. Now I had to run to make up the lost time. As I spent the whole day encircled by the problems of the show, I could not run during the day, and as he was rehearsing all day in the studio with the band, we combined our runs for the night, after 23:00. Perfect, because I got tired myself and slept like a rock, my health was coming back.

27/10/2005 - Sudden Desistance.

The great day was arriving. All guests with their air tickets in hand, curiously I feel well, I sleep well and I wasn’t feeling nervous. I gave some interviews where the people asked if I didn’t feel myself with much responsibility for being at the stage with these stars; after building all this show, the last thing I would feel would be nervous, I was feeling a tremendous happiness. Then I received a call from São Paulo, and I started to feel sad again. I started to lose my peace and to feel the stress that had disappeared, returning, but with a new force. To make a concert like that, we need to make several partnerships, each person has his responsibility in the event and you put 100% of your trust on them. One of my partners showed me that he wasn’t the kind of person who I could trust. He was with me since the start, giving his word that would fulfill the agreement, but he called me few days before the concert to say that he would quit the project. I liked this guy very much then I made everything by trust, and when this kind of thing happens you regret not having a signed legal paper in the play. My reaction wasn’t what my ex-partner waited for, I simply said with too much calm "Are youkidding right?” it would be a trick of very bad taste, but it would be better than the truth. When I understood that he wasn’t kidding, I didn’t cry out, I didn’t fight, I didn’t scream cursed words, I just wished that he never passed for what I passing with his attitude. I lost my last weeks before the show that I could have been used to rehearsal and to rest, trying to solve the gigantic problem that he had created. For the first time, I felt about to give up, seemingly a dead-end, without solution. I sat with my band and I explained them what had happened, then I caught the telephone and I made probably the most important call of my life, and asked for a miracle- I obtained help. Someone serious that would buy that problem and enter in the place of the deserter partner, and thus I came back to the field and prepared myself to play. But what I liked most was that I didn’t need to step back with my idea.